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  • [私酿同人][井准] But That Was a Farewell（全）

    2008-04-16

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    http://yumeniaini.blogbus.com/logs/19154433.html

    But That Was a Farewell
    an Inohara/Okada fanfic

    Inohara is never short of words or expressions, except
    when Junichi Okada is the one he tries to communicate
    with.  It's not that Junichi is too quiet and detached to
    be reached, but that he always unloads Inohara's mind
    so naturally, leaving the small-eyed man duller than ever.

    But Inohara somehow learns to enjoy this feeling, and
    thus has come to believe Junichi is one of those who can
    unlock your secrets without a trace.  A bit broken are you
    before him, and all bubbles of exaggeration are mercilessly
    pricked and your overflown emotion leaks out until you
    become half empty.  It's a strangest mixture of unusual
    relaxation and extreme caution, which was utterly foreign
    to him for the beginning years.  He failed, as a result,
    to grasp the best part of it.

    That you are allowed in that carefully shielded tranquility.
    That you hear yourself at last.

    Lonely but truly.

    *

    Of course Junichi is not at all aggressive.  It's his keenness
    that frightens Inohara a little.  Just a little.

    "Don't be scary!"

    The adult used to exaggerate his feeling habitually, causing
    soft murmurs of complaint that were most pleasing to his ears.

    There was a time when Junichi's dark eyes were much
    brighter than shy, when Inohara found it so enjoyable to be
    followed by that warm and honest gaze, and when the
    summer seemed never to fade away as long as they could
    still sing.  It did fade, however, until it's redyed a deeper hue.     
    And Junichi is now from most people's descriptions silent and
    exquisite, and should have at least appeared to be more
    concerned on a dozen of occasions.

    Thus for quite a while Inohara was confused by the smiling
    boy with whom he thought he could not be more familiar.     
    And it costed him dearly to realize what he had missed.

    *

    The boy matured overnight, deepened like the golden
    maple leaves with a tint of crimson after the first autumn
    frost, or the rich blue sky with Orion glimmering in its
    silver light.  Unknown was the exact moment when it
    happened, but everything was changing as irretrievable
    as the river dies into the sea.  So this time Inohara
    accepted it without an attempt to ask, and was pinched
    a bit to see even the tiniest of Junichi's smiles, which were
    said later by the others to be uniquely enchanting.

    It's a glimpse of hidden wit, a hint of gentle trick, and a
    shower of finely controlled cheerfulness that are lingering,
    or sometimes, dancing on that slight quirk at the corner of
    his lips.  And Inohara can see the tiny reflections of himself
    on the glittering surface of that pair of pupils, which grow
    dense like ink slowly settling in transparent water.

    Yet it confuses him when all the different images of the
    same face flash through his mind.

    The bouncing spring of vitality gushing out so generously
    from Bussan.
    The roughly wrapped gentleness given with unexpected
    prudence by Shunshin.
    The talented concentration and lovely stubbornness of Ryuuji.
    The sentimental and artistic air around Toru.
    And the sharpness of Inoue that cracks the darkest night
    like clean and swift lightening.

    It may be that Junichi possesses one quality in each of them. 
    And time has carved a calming fragrance and softening lustre
    into every line of his body, and every inch of his skin.

    So that you cannot reach the treasures safely buried underneath
    with a simple effort, although you probably have already fallen
    under the spell.

    Most willingly, at the very first touch.

    *

    It is out of good intention to say that married couples give up
    their freedom for love.  Although family is the word they
    all use, V5 still need to obey the rules which seem to have
    changed nothing.  And Junichi plays it especially well to
    nobody's surprise, for distancing himself from the others is
    what he's always good at.  Inohara has, once again,
    made no comment.

    "It's too late to hang out."

    When Junichi said these words with a slightly shown concern,
    Inohara turned to him, almost blankly.

    "I'll drive you home."

    They were on a bench outside a small restaurant where
    they just had dinner, the unsettling city whispering at their feet
    and the weak stars looking helplessly at the colorful lights
    which were far more brighter.

    But Junichi's lips quirked up mildly, "I mean, for you    ."

    Inohara felt a dull ache from inside as if Junichi's voice was
    gently pressing against some old wounds of his.  Yet he knew
    it's most unconsciously done and it's himself that should be
    blamed, if he actually had the courage to do so.

    He carefully raised his eyes to meet the dark and clear ones
    of Junichi, who awaited quietly as vague shadows of the
    traffic quickly passed by.

    He leaned forward, slowly and hesitantly.

    And Junichi did not move away.

    *

    A long delayed first kiss can be the last thing in the world
    you wish to do.  As Inohara approached Junichi, he saw in
    those eyes not only the honesty and warmth that were once
    familiar to him, but also thoughtfulness and resolution that
    shined so handsomely and confidently.

    It suddenly occurred to him that after all these years
    he himself finally became the one who was tolerated
    and sheltered by an unspoken tenderness.     
    And if there is one single battle in his life to lose
    completely, this is it.

    So instead of the smiling curves of the lips he had
    longed to taste, he touched the eyes that widened
    a little bit in a lovely daze.  His lips brushed them
    slowly and gently, one and the other.  He could feel
    the tiny twitches of them.  He could feel Junichi's
    warm breath lingering on his neck.  And when
    Junichi uttered a little sigh of contentment, Inohara
    was nearly drowned in the affection of his whole life,
    which flooded out of him in such a desperation that
    the last drop in his body seemed to be dried up in a moment.

    Then he pulled away, further and further, until the invisible
    string stretched out between them was strained to its
    breaking point.

    And he received a sharp pain when it broke.

    *

    But all of Inohara's suffering was ended at that moment,
    for he smiled and farewelled silently to the dearest memory
    he had ever had.

    "See you tomorrow," he said, and Junichi looked up
    and smiled, too.

    They would see each other on the next day and for
    the rest of their lives.

    But that was a farewell indeed.       


    Fin

     


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    分类: Take Me Higher | Tag: 冈田准一，井之原快彦，OkadaJunichi
    引用地址:
    Dame 发表于13:10 | 编辑 | 继续话题 | 转发 | 分享　0

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  • 姑娘，俺想跟你BLOG链接起来，可以咩^_^
    俺的地址：http://kimerubobo.ycool.com/
    Dame回复飞姑娘说：
    当然可以。地址已添加。^0^
    2008-04-19 21:52:51
    飞姑娘 | 发表于2008-04-19 17:30:31 [回复]