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[私酿同人][井准] But That Was a Farewell(全)
2008-04-16
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But That Was a Farewell
http://yumeniaini.blogbus.com/logs/19154433.html
an Inohara/Okada fanfic
Inohara is never short of words or expressions, except
when Junichi Okada is the one he tries to communicate
with. It's not that Junichi is too quiet and detached to
be reached, but that he always unloads Inohara's mind
so naturally, leaving the small-eyed man duller than ever.
But Inohara somehow learns to enjoy this feeling, and
thus has come to believe Junichi is one of those who can
unlock your secrets without a trace. A bit broken are you
before him, and all bubbles of exaggeration are mercilessly
pricked and your overflown emotion leaks out until you
become half empty. It's a strangest mixture of unusual
relaxation and extreme caution, which was utterly foreign
to him for the beginning years. He failed, as a result,
to grasp the best part of it.
That you are allowed in that carefully shielded tranquility.
That you hear yourself at last.
Lonely but truly.
*
Of course Junichi is not at all aggressive. It's his keenness
that frightens Inohara a little. Just a little.
"Don't be scary!"
The adult used to exaggerate his feeling habitually, causing
soft murmurs of complaint that were most pleasing to his ears.
There was a time when Junichi's dark eyes were much
brighter than shy, when Inohara found it so enjoyable to be
followed by that warm and honest gaze, and when the
summer seemed never to fade away as long as they could
still sing. It did fade, however, until it's redyed a deeper hue.
And Junichi is now from most people's descriptions silent and
exquisite, and should have at least appeared to be more
concerned on a dozen of occasions.
Thus for quite a while Inohara was confused by the smiling
boy with whom he thought he could not be more familiar.
And it costed him dearly to realize what he had missed.
*
The boy matured overnight, deepened like the golden
maple leaves with a tint of crimson after the first autumn
frost, or the rich blue sky with Orion glimmering in its
silver light. Unknown was the exact moment when it
happened, but everything was changing as irretrievable
as the river dies into the sea. So this time Inohara
accepted it without an attempt to ask, and was pinched
a bit to see even the tiniest of Junichi's smiles, which were
said later by the others to be uniquely enchanting.
It's a glimpse of hidden wit, a hint of gentle trick, and a
shower of finely controlled cheerfulness that are lingering,
or sometimes, dancing on that slight quirk at the corner of
his lips. And Inohara can see the tiny reflections of himself
on the glittering surface of that pair of pupils, which grow
dense like ink slowly settling in transparent water.
Yet it confuses him when all the different images of the
same face flash through his mind.
The bouncing spring of vitality gushing out so generously
from Bussan.
The roughly wrapped gentleness given with unexpected
prudence by Shunshin.
The talented concentration and lovely stubbornness of Ryuuji.
The sentimental and artistic air around Toru.
And the sharpness of Inoue that cracks the darkest night
like clean and swift lightening.
It may be that Junichi possesses one quality in each of them.
And time has carved a calming fragrance and softening lustre
into every line of his body, and every inch of his skin.
So that you cannot reach the treasures safely buried underneath
with a simple effort, although you probably have already fallen
under the spell.
Most willingly, at the very first touch.
*
It is out of good intention to say that married couples give up
their freedom for love. Although family is the word they
all use, V5 still need to obey the rules which seem to have
changed nothing. And Junichi plays it especially well to
nobody's surprise, for distancing himself from the others is
what he's always good at. Inohara has, once again,
made no comment.
"It's too late to hang out."
When Junichi said these words with a slightly shown concern,
Inohara turned to him, almost blankly.
"I'll drive you home."
They were on a bench outside a small restaurant where
they just had dinner, the unsettling city whispering at their feet
and the weak stars looking helplessly at the colorful lights
which were far more brighter.
But Junichi's lips quirked up mildly, "I mean, for you."
Inohara felt a dull ache from inside as if Junichi's voice was
gently pressing against some old wounds of his. Yet he knew
it's most unconsciously done and it's himself that should be
blamed, if he actually had the courage to do so.
He carefully raised his eyes to meet the dark and clear ones
of Junichi, who awaited quietly as vague shadows of the
traffic quickly passed by.
He leaned forward, slowly and hesitantly.
And Junichi did not move away.
*
A long delayed first kiss can be the last thing in the world
you wish to do. As Inohara approached Junichi, he saw in
those eyes not only the honesty and warmth that were once
familiar to him, but also thoughtfulness and resolution that
shined so handsomely and confidently.
It suddenly occurred to him that after all these years
he himself finally became the one who was tolerated
and sheltered by an unspoken tenderness.
And if there is one single battle in his life to lose
completely, this is it.
So instead of the smiling curves of the lips he had
longed to taste, he touched the eyes that widened
a little bit in a lovely daze. His lips brushed them
slowly and gently, one and the other. He could feel
the tiny twitches of them. He could feel Junichi's
warm breath lingering on his neck. And when
Junichi uttered a little sigh of contentment, Inohara
was nearly drowned in the affection of his whole life,
which flooded out of him in such a desperation that
the last drop in his body seemed to be dried up in a moment.
Then he pulled away, further and further, until the invisible
string stretched out between them was strained to its
breaking point.
And he received a sharp pain when it broke.
*
But all of Inohara's suffering was ended at that moment,
for he smiled and farewelled silently to the dearest memory
he had ever had.
"See you tomorrow," he said, and Junichi looked up
and smiled, too.
They would see each other on the next day and for
the rest of their lives.
But that was a farewell indeed.
Fin随机文章:
井准,继续丢草稿…… 2008-04-11[私酿同人][井准,清水] (题目待定,扔草稿……) 2008-04-10只需要看图就够了[句号] 2008-07-25嗷~嗷嗷~~嗷嗷嗷~~~ 2008-07-01[架空坂准]The Last Blue Poppy 2008-06-22








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